Adapting to Change
There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it is going to be a butterfly. Buckmaster Fuller.
I have felt for the longest while, as I continue to add on the years, central to my way of thinking is that the idea of self-concept is best defined as an organized, consistent set of perceptions and beliefs about how we really are as a person.
That said, life isn’t static. We are living in a time of enormous economic and social pressure and unease. The shadow of apprehension, disenchantment and negativity conflicts with the bright lights of hope, amazing discoveries and new opportunities.
We know we must adapt to change but many of us have difficulty doing so. Even when presented with a seemingly endless array of logical arguments and data that should convince us, still we don’t.
1. We are trapped in a box, a paradigm filled with a countless number of rules, assumptions, regulations, beliefs, experiences and strictly prescribed ways we have come to believe hold the keys to personal and professional growth and success.
Taken together, they become our personal software operating system. To change them is to court failure. We don’t ask questions from inside the box. We don’t just believe that all the answers lie inside, we believe the box itself is the answer.
Armed with that certitude, our habits and thoughts become locked in. Our inquiring mind slowly withers away. We become emotionally and intellectually closed to the outside.
We join the silent majority and so lose the ability to be spontaneous and different. Deep in our hearts we know we that we are living a lie but are afraid to say so.
2. The second reason concerns our ego. Each of us has a unique personality and an ego that competes with our soul for the general direction of our life paths.
Our ego’s job is to protect us and make sure we stay on track. Our unique ego is constantly competing with other unique egos in a zero sum, “I win, you lose” adversarial game. It is always seeking dominance and control. There is no give and take. The ego is about having it all.
The soul side, on the other hand, is at direct odds with your ego. It is a kinder. more human side, professing a caring view that advocates love, consideration, sharing and being fair to others.
If you are primarily identified with a centre of interest in your life, to the exclusion of others – your work, for example, your possessions or your place in society, you are allowing your ego to be the driving force that determines your every move.
If you are attached, though, to always being right or always needing someone or somebody in order to be at peace or to feel successful, you never feel a sense of contentment.
Tackling your ego-driven needs and your attachments isn’t easy. It takes your willingness to suspend disbelief, be vulnerable and admit past misadventures. It takes strength of character to take whatever actions are needed to address the issues and seek practical solutions.
When you do that, your view on life dramatically alters. Aware of other people and their needs and concerns, you become more compassionate. You stop objectifying people and become more human.
3. The third reason is the contradiction manifested in the conflicting values of society. We all claim to love one another, be truthful and considerate. Many claim to live that way. Indeed, all the great religions and faith based philosophies direct us to do so. A majority claim to follow a religion or an ancient wisdom and its attendant beliefs but these spiritual values hardly have a place in the real world of our political, social and economic practice.
While our spiritual values encourage and foster a greater good, our daily quest for power, personal success and the bounty of the “full life repudiate and make a mockery of those goals.
Thus we find our personal values in direct competition with the values of society. In the process we are condemned to live inauthentic lives at home and at work. The result of all of this is a stream of toxic energy that can easily alienate us from each other and from our work. Worse, it saddens the soul.
But like much in life, we do have a choice. If you can beat back your ego and keep in it check, to allow your soul to take the lead, or at the very least, to have an equal voice, you can add immensely to the flow of joy in your life.
It takes a lot of unlearning of what you have learned, and tough, self-critical introspection, but it is doable.
It all starts with acceptance, a quiet talk with yourself, the willingness to do the hard work and adapting to change.
Comments are disabled for this post.